


Graceful like an Atom Bomb

by antigrav_vector



Series: Things I blame on the CapRBB slack [17]
Category: Captain America (MCU), Iron Man (MCU), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Cute Dorks, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, For reasons, I blame CAPRBB slack chat, I can't even with these idiots, Kinda sorta songfic, M/M, Multi, Nothing Hurts, POV Tony Stark, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Author Regrets Nothing, all of the song references, but mostly Queen, but no one can prove a thing, crack and fluff, heavily implied Bucky Barnes/Freddie Mercury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 17:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14525895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antigrav_vector/pseuds/antigrav_vector
Summary: My three favourite dorks attempt to describe one another with song lyrics. That's it, that's the fic.





	Graceful like an Atom Bomb

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dapperanachronism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperanachronism/gifts).



> So I was listening to Queen last night and this morning my brain threw a weird mishmash of lyrics at me which I dared share with [dapperanachronism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperanachronism). Turns out that was a mistake and this is the result. It's all her fault.
> 
> Unbeta'ed. Please excuse any remaining typos.

Tony squinted at his lovers, where they lounged cuddled comfortably together on the bed and poked at a tablet, sharing a pair of headphones, for some reason.

Despite their focus, it didn't take them long to notice him. Bucky sat up and stretched, letting his earbud fall out and onto Steve's lap.

Tony stared at it, hoping he could get Steve to blush a little.

"Did you want something, Tony," Bucky prompted him with a knowing smirk, "or did you just come in here to ogle Steve?"

Tony shrugged and looked up to meet Bucky's amused eyes. "Not really, so why not enjoy the scenery." He sauntered over to the bed and settled next to Steve, resting his chin on Steve's shoulder so he could lean against his lover and stare down at the tablet screen. When he realised what he was looking at, Tony groaned, making sure the sound conveyed just how mortally wounded he was. "Wait, you're surfing YouTube?"

Steve laughed at him. "You got something against YouTube?"

"Why the hell would you bother doing that with a tablet and earbuds? I've got a perfectly good holographic interface and sound system for that." Tony replied, legitimately a bit baffled. The pair of them generally thought his tech was the best thing since sliced bread.

Bucky plucked the other earbud out of Steve's ear and shut off the tablet, setting it aside. Steve allowed it, not batting an eye. Instead, he tugged Tony around and into his arms, where Bucky plastered himself against Tony's back.

"Sometimes it's nice to just sit together and tell the world we're ignoring it for a little while," Bucky informed him solemnly, and Tony had to admit, he was making a solid case.

"So what were you watching?" Tony asked, changing the topic.

"Catching up on some of the music Steve missed," Bucky answered, his amusement audible.

Steve groaned. "You have weird taste, Buck."

"No, you do _not_ get to say that about the classics. Don't even try it, Rogers."

Tony snickered at their antics. "Who are we badmouthing, here?"

"Steve has no appreciation for Queen, and I can't allow that." Bucky grumbled, sounding like the idea actively offended him.

Tony could relate. He pulled back just enough to catch Steve's eyes. "Really? You don't like Queen?"

"I never said that," Steve tried to protest.

Tony was having none of it. "Why don't you like it, then?"

A silence fell between them, but Tony could be patient when it suited him. He waited Steve out, holding Steve's eyes until Steve looked away.

"'S too different," Steve said eventually. "Not... Not bad, but--"

Bucky huffed at him, but looked mollified. "I guess that's fair."

Tony turned to Bucky and raised an eyebrow at him. "Since when do you like Queen, anyway?"

"Lyrics are fun." Bucky said, and smirked. "And Freddie was good in bed."

He'd heard some absurd claims before, but this took the cake. Staring at him in shock, Tony gaped for a few long seconds. "You what?"

Steve eyed Bucky as though he was a week old fish. "You just yankin' our chains again?"

The question got a shrug in reply. Bucky wasn't talking. "I don't kiss an' tell."

"You just did," Tony pointed out.

"No, I didn't." Bucky's smirk widened and took on more than a little smugness. "You made some assumptions."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jeeze, Buck," he complained, "I'm just goin'ta assume you didn't."

"Safer that way," Tony agreed, but he couldn't help wondering. Bucky really did look way too self-satisfied. Which could be because he had them questioning whether he'd had a one night stand of epic proportions way back when, or because he actually _had_. Though that begged the question of how he'd possibly remember it, after what he'd suffered...

No, that way lay dragons. Tony forced the thoughts away again.

They lay comfortably entangled in one another on the bed for a few silent minutes, then, letting the weird tension in the air ease, before Bucky spoke again. "Hey, Steve, I just realised somethin'."

"What's that?" Steve asked, without opening his eyes.

"We got ourselves our own supersonic man, here."

Tony gave him a sour look. "Really. That's what you're going with?"

"Huh?" Steve looked back and forth between them, confused.

"Play it for him, JARVIS," Tony requested, resigned to his fate, and reached out to poke at Bucky's undefended ribs.

A holographic interface popped up, with correct YouTube page pre-loaded because JARVIS was just good like that, and the specific verse Bucky was referencing began playing.

_I'm burnin' through the sky yeah  
Two hundred degrees  
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit  
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light  
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you_

Steve listened to it closely, his eyes still closed but smiling. The music cut off where the guitar riffs started, and he turned to Tony. "It's kinda fitting," he said. "And a lot catchier than the other ones Bucky showed me so far."

"I don't hit two hundred degrees," Tony grumbled, making Bucky snort. "I don't!" he protested. "It takes sustained speeds of over Mach 3 lasting for 35 minutes or more to make the suit that hot.[1] And traveling at the speed of light is physically impossible for anything with mass."

"If you say so, genius," Bucky replied, his tone full of fond indulgence and amusement.

"So if Tony's our supersonic man, what are you, then, Buck?" Steve put in.

" _He's dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind, anytime,_ " Bucky misquoted at him, singsong. "Freddie did always have a way with words. He wrote whole songs about people without ever naming names."

Steve squinted at him. "You're implying things again, Buck."

"So?"

"So one of these days, I'll have'ta pry some answers outta ya." 

"Steve," Tony put in, a brilliant idea hitting him all at once, "I'm pretty sure the lyric that fits him better is _buddy you're an old man poor man, pleadin' with your eyes_."

Bucky made an offended noise, and wrapped his arms around Tony's waist, hauling him up off Steve and tumbling him into the pile of pillows and blankets.

Tony could only laugh and kiss him. "Both of you are about as graceful as an atom bomb."

"What song is that from?" Steve asked him, looking intrigued.[2]

**Author's Note:**

> [1] Based on [this reference](https://www.nap.edu/read/9251/chapter/4).   
> [2] This isn't actually from a Queen song, though it might sound like it. It's actually a line my brain spat at me early this morning set to the tune of [Don't Stop Me Now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgzGwKwLmgM). And coincidentally the reason this fic got written.
> 
> Other assorted (mis)quoted lyrics come from   
> [We Will Rock You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tJYN-eG1zk)  
> [Bicycle Race](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GugsCdLHm-Q)  
> [Killer Queen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZBtPf7FOoM)


End file.
